Week 20: Ultrasound

Whew, I don't even know where to start with this one, I don't think.  It's a long and complicated story that ends with the knowledge that this might possibly be the last pregnancy for me.  Four has almost always been our number, and God has blessed us four times over, and well, that might be the end of these kinds of blessings for us.  Maybe.

So knowing that we might not have this choice to make again, we decided that maybe we should consider finding out our baby's gender at our ultrasound this time.  We've always waited until birth and we've always loved waiting until birth.  But maybe we should see what the grass is like on the other side of the fence.  It might be fun to have that experience at least once, right?

I've always felt like it might make the second half of pregnancy seem really long if we already knew that information and were just waiting for this baby boy or girl to make an appearance.  That's been my main holdout for not finding out.  Plus, if I'm really honest, I'll admit that I'm kinda proud of not having to know right away.  We're kind of an oddity in this day and age of everyone finding out the gender, and we like it that way.  It totally goes against the grain of my planning, Type A personality, and I like it that way.  So I figured it would take a certain amount of pride swallowing to actually find out ahead of time.

We also argued that it might be good to prepare Noah if he is getting another sister and not a brother.  But if we were deep down honest, we would really be preparing ourselves.  Don't get me wrong; we obviously love our girls to pieces like we never knew was possible.  But it would be so great for Noah to have a brother.

Some things have come up that have really made me analyze why I feel so passionate about that, so I've spent some considerable time thinking it through.  The reasons are many.  First and foremost, I see the relationship my own brothers have with each other, and I would love for Noah to have that experience.  Secondly, since I grew up in a house of boys, I feel much more comfortable at football games than teaching my daughters how to put on make-up.  And throughout this summer, I've had multiple chances to see how Noah interacts and plays so differently when he plays with other boys his age.  Let me be clear: Noah and Sophia are the best of friends.  But they play so differently than Noah plays with boys.  When Noah and Sophia play together, they might be playing house...with Noah in a dress.  But when Noah plays with boys, he wants to wrestle, and hit baseballs and do all things that mean boy.  It would be great to have another little boy in the house who would want to do those same things with him.

So at the heart of it, to find out that we are having another girl, who may be our last little blessing, can potentially mean the loss of that picture of what our family will look like, and reshifting our picture to include lots of dresses, and wedding expenses, and drama.  :)  And so that would take some mental adjusting for both Tim and I.

And even still a day or two before our ultrasound, we were still not fully decided about what we were going to do.  I polled people I know who have done it both ways, hoping someone would give me some insight that I hadn't previously thought about that might just finally sway my opinions one way or the other.  By this point, I think I have maybe heard all of the arguments on both sides.  Nothing new came up.

So...after much agonizing, we decided we'd find out.  I had a pretty strong sense that we're having another girl, but why not confirm that information?  And...

It's a...

GIRL!

I told you I had a pretty strong sense!  

I think that after we left, the tech must have thought we were a little nuts.  We took all the kids with us to the ultrasound, and left without hardly a reaction amongst us!  The little peanut (who was so sweetly sucking HER thumb through most of the experience) didn't want to be very cooperative.  This was the first time I've done this, but the tech actually had me use the restroom in the middle to hopefully get our baby to move enough to show us who s/he is!  Finally, she did move to just the right spot, and our technician confirmed that we are indeed having our third girl, complete with the black and white picture labeled "girl parts."  

I think I said, "I told you."  To which Tim replied, "You were right."

And I think that was about all we said!  Even the kids were pretty much unphased.  Noah almost least of all!

We're still adjusting to the idea of a house almost full of girls.  It'll take some time.  And because it wasn't an OB who did our ultrasound, the techs don't tell you much about the health and well-being of your baby, so we are just hoping that "no news is good news" and that we are just biding our time until we meet a healthy, strong, sweet little lady!  

I took the kids to Jamba Juice across the street from our doctor's office for PINK smoothies to celebrate, and now the name debate begins!

Week 19: Jury Duty (13 June, 2011)

I ended up spending the better portion of this week in Jury Duty.  This is the third time I've been summoned.  How some people go their whole lives and never get the privilege, and I've already gotten the dreaded piece of mail 3 times is beyond me.  Up until this point, I had somehow managed to avoid actually being selected for a jury, but just didn't find a way to get out of it this time.  So for the first time, I got to see the whole process through from beginning to end.

This has nothing to do with pregnancy!  But it's about the only notable thing that occurred this week.  There was a middle aged woman who sat next to me in our deliberations who told me on the second day, "Well, you look bigger today than you did yesterday."  No joke!  Not sure in what universe that is acceptable to tell someone, much less a complete stranger.

But the story doesn't end there.  Would you believe that on the third day, she said, "You look bigger today!"  I KID YOU NOT!!!  I think that God forgot to give some people the filter that goes somewhere near your tongue that prevents you from saying these things outloud.

Thankfully, at this stage in pregnancy, I am still gracious and kind when people make these kinds of comments, and simply smiled and replied, "Oh, really?  I think it all depends on the day and what I'm wearing."

I've also been made fully aware this week that I simply do not live a sedentary lifestyle.  After just one day of sitting in the jury box, my rear end is sore!!  In case I was ever in doubt, I am no longer questioning the fact that I do very little sitting in one place during the day!

Week 18: June 6, 2011

There's this phenomenon that happens between most women when they first get pregnant.  At least the first time around.  We want to know EVERYTHING.  So, we do what we know how: we talk about pregnancy and childbirth and having babies with anyone who will listen.  And we read everything we can get our hands on.  And we subscribe to every pregnancy website we can find.  We check these sources religiously each week, learning about each week and stage of pregnancy along the way.  We know when our babies hearts start beating, when their boy and girl parts form, when their fingernails grow, when they eyes start sensing light, when they can start hearing our voices.

But in subsequent pregnancies, we consider ourselves experienced veterans, so this stuff all falls by the wayside.  Until you have older siblings that become curious about this stuff.  Once again, I have found myself joining babycenter.com.  Sophia and Noah are constantly asking how big the baby is, and this has been such a great resource to show them.  Each week, babycenter compares the size of your baby to a common fruit or vegetable.  It's been such a great visual to give the kids some kind of idea as to what is happening inside of my ever growing belly.  This week, our baby happens to be the size of a bell pepper.

Still haven't decided what we're going to do at our ultrasound in a couple of weeks.  At this point, we're thinking we're going to find out, but I hate fully committing yet.  We've told a few people that we might do it, but I keep leaving the door open and saying we aren't totally sure yet.  True enough; I'm still not all the way convinced.

Week 17: May 30, 2011

What's heaviest on my mind this week is the ultrasound.  I am excited for it, of course.  But also maybe beginning to wonder if this baby is healthy.  I'm trying not to be anxious about it, but I feel like I've spent more time thinking about this in this pregnancy than I ever have in the past.  With the others, I don't remember worrying so much about whether our 20 week ultrasound was going to reveal anything other than a beautiful, small, healthy little baby.

And of course, we're still debating about whether or not we want to know if this baby is a boy or girl.  I've been around long enough that I think I've heard all the pros and cons each way, but so far, none of them has been enough to solidify a decision.  The jury's still out.

Finally, at 17 weeks, I am beginning to feel like I am getting my energy back.  At least some of it.  I am starting to feel like I can once again become somewhat of a contributing member of this household.  Cooking dinner might not be as monumental of a task as it was last week.

But maybe part of my problem has been that I am simply not getting enough water.  Each day, I vow I'm going to be better about hydrating myself.  But then I think of how much time I'll be spending in the bathroom, and my resolve crumbles like a muffin in a toddler's hands.  It's so hard to make myself drink the stuff when I know it might mean that I'm using the bathroom every 20 minutes.

We spent Memorial Day Weekend in the mountains this year.  That's pretty insignificant except for the fact that we did go for a hike- and I did manage to carry Sweetest P in the backpack.  I wasn't sure how that would work out, but let's be honest.  The only reason I'm making note of it is because I'm proud of carrying one baby on the back and one in the belly.  (And for those of you questioning why Tim wasn't carrying her, let me defend him by making it known that he was carrying Noah- obviously the heavier of the two.)

Week 16: Back to Life, Back to Reality!

Finally.  After 16 weeks, I feel like I have finally turned a corner.  I am beginning to return to normal levels of functionality.  Beginning at least.  After 3 consecutive days without a nap (can't tell you the last time that happened), I crashed on the fourth day and ended up napping as long as my kids- which wasn't my intention, but sure felt good none-the-less.

The first 3 days of week 16 were probably more productive than the previous 3 months combined!  Sadly, I am not sure that is an exaggeration.  And I headed into the middle of the week feeling good, I was hoping this productivity would continue.  But then, I found my kids begging me (repeatedly and very insistently) to just "READ" as I found myself dozing (snoring?) off while reading their naptime stories.  So I decided that 3 consecutive days of being productive were very successful and should therefore be rewarded with a nap!  :)

This week has also caused a lot of contemplation and reflection.  Our ultrasound will be here before we know it, amazingly enough.  Can I really be just shy of halfway?  Really?  And for the first time in our parenting journey, this ultrasound has caused debate.  To find out or not?  With the previous three, it was never really much of a discussion.  We both really like not finding out.  In fact, we've loved it.  And for me, I would almost say it's something I'm passionate about!  Laugh if you must; I know that I'm weird and quirky.  But at least I'm honest!  But we both know that this might just be the last time we have the chance to see the grass on the other side, so we're wondering if we should check it out over there.  We haven't come to a conclusion, yet, but we're at least considering it.

We also got to meet another new baby this week.  This time, we took the whole family to across town to welcome little Jed Morris into the world.  I think Sophia was in heaven.  I'm not lying when I say I think she could have held that sweet little boy until he was too big to hold!  She was hurrying Tim and I up to have her turn.  I never knew until maybe after Noah was born how much I love newborns.  There's just something so special about their scrunched up little bodies that you want to hold onto forever because you know it passes too quickly.

And boy, did holding Jed make the beginning of November seem oh...so...far...away...

Week 15: May 16, 2011

I had my 16 week appointment this week, a few days early.  This was my first appointment with my doctor, and it held more "extra" good news than I ever remember hearing from our insurance system.  So let me recap this week with a simple summary of the good and the bad for you.

The Good:
*On a minor scale, I actually lost a pound since my last appointment.  Hey, in the course of pregnancy, every pound counts, right?  But it's all back to those suspect scales.  Remember how I said I wasn't sure I trusted them?  Well, we'll just say that this week, they worked in my favor.
*Baby's heartbeat sounds good-holding steady at 160.
*This has maybe been my most productive week of pregnancy thus far!
*We can do our ultrasound (which is my next appointment- WOWSERS!) at our own clinic.  This is good news because in the past, we've had to go to another office, and the ultrasound tech is notoriously grouchy and mean.  No one should leave their ultrasound feeling grumpy, right?  So thankful to not have to visit her this time around.
*And the best news of all: it's looking like we don't have to deliver this baby at our insurance's hospital downtown.  Both Phoebe and Noah were born at that hospital.  We haven't had bad experiences there, but they haven't been super great either.  For starters, it's in the heart of downtown and VERY inconvenient to get to.  Especially while in labor!  Phoebe was born in a matter of mere minutes after arriving, very Hollywood television drama style, so I was not looking forward to a repeat of that experience.  And she was born at 12:39 am.  That meant we were driving to this hospital after midnight.  I can't imagine what it might be like in rush hour.  Or potentially in snow, during rush hour!  YIKES!  Instead, we get to go back to a closer, much newer hospital on this side of town.  This happens to be the same one where Sophia was born, and we loved it there.  Tim and I couldn't be more thrilled!  It's not even an exaggeration to say that now, every time I drive by this hospital, I brief a sigh of relief and can't help saying, "Thank you, Jesus!"

The Bad:
I don't have much to complain about.  Tim was out of town for the first part of this week, and it was a tough week with the kids.  I should be past the first trimester fog by now, but I'm still so tired.  I still have a hard time functioning through the day without a nap, and I would love to be able to use my kids' naptime to be more productive.  Instead, I find myself sleeping their naptime away, and using every ounce of strength I have to rouse MYSELF so I can go rouse THEM!!  All the while, the laundry, bills, and dust continue to pile up...

Week 14: The 3 Month Hangover

My OB loving refers to the first trimester as "The 3 Month Hangover."  I am going to unabashedly agree.  Which is funny, because truth be told, I have never in my lifetime been hung over.  However, from my very limited knowledge, everything I know tells me this is a very good analogy.  And it makes me smile every time I think of it.  At least in a 3 month hangover, you have something more lasting to show for it than an evening's worth of a good time!

That said, I would now be hoping to emerge from said "hangover."  Unfortunately, that's just not seeming to happen at this point.  There might be faint glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel, but I am certainly not there yet.  After all, I am still finding myself dysfunctional without my daily nap.

At this point in time, Tim and I have done our best to let our so called "cat" fully out of the bag and are not attempting to be secretive in anyway about the newest Nielson.  BUT, he has still not made any announcements to our youth group, so I am not entirely sure who at church knows our news and who hasn't heard yet at this point.  Which makes it completely awkward when I am trying to decide what to wear to church on Sunday morning.  He doesn't understand what it's like to have people looking at your midsection, wondering things they are too afraid to ask.  Let's just say I've worn a lot of loose fitting shirts in the last couple of weeks.  And pleaded with Tim to make a formal announcement in spite of how uncomfortable he is about it.

After my last appointment, and the relief of hearing the heartbeat finally, I need to tell my principal at work my news.  We had just recently discussed a position for me next year, that I had verbally committed to, but I didn't know how this latest development was going to impact his vision of my precious one day a week "teaching" job.  Of anyone I could think of, he was the one I was most nervous to tell.  I walked into work on Monday morning, and decided that the sooner I got it out of the way, the better I would feel.  So I hunted him down first thing on Monday, and wonder of all wonders, he was one of those few people who actually said, "Congratulations, that's great news!"  It appears that my ideal will work out just fine.  I'll go ahead and start next school year working one day a week, take off the months of November and December, and come back to work for just one day a week after the first of the year.

I am not sure if I have mentioned this prior to this point, but at the beginning of this pregnancy, almost literally every woman my age that I knew was pregnant.  This week brought the birth of the first of those babies.  On my way home from work at the end of the week, I stopped by the hospital to congratulate my friend and meet little Kate.  What a sweetheart!!!  And oh, did it make it seem like the next 26 weeks would NEVER end!!  I can't wait for it to be our turn again, in the hospital, holding, bonding with and loving on this newest addition to the fam.  It feels like that time might never come at this point...