It was right around this time that I got a message from a friend telling me she was expecting her 3rd baby near the end of October. (That must mean she's only a week or two ahead of me.) She was lamenting that every pregnancy symptom seems to be so much more exaggerated the third time around. She definitely didn't know our news at this point, and I read her entire message laughing out loud! All I could think was, "If you think that about the 3rd time, imagine what the 4th is like?"
I feel like I am experiencing symptoms that I had only heard about prior to this pregnancy. I have one friend whose first indication of pregnancy has always been round ligament pain. I always thought she was crazy. I had read about it, knew about it, never really experienced it too much, let alone known I was pregnant because I was feeling it. But this time around, I can now say that I not only know about it, but can definitely tell you what it feels like. Except I'll spare you. It's just weird to me that it's taken 4 babies for me to really identify with what it is.
And the bathroom trips. Geez, Louise, can I PLEASE sleep through the night without having to get up to pee? It's never been so bad for me this early on. One middle of the night trip doesn't seem to be enough for me this time around- there's usually at least one more, very early morning. As in, it's too early to really get up yet, but too late to be able to fall back asleep for any decent kind of sleep. Maybe, for me, I would consider this one of the worst symptoms of pregnancy.
Cravings? Like never before. For the most part, I haven't ever had too many pregnancy cravings. In fact, Tim often bemoans the fact that I am no ordinary pregnant woman. He has long awaited his ability to demonstrate his knight in shining armor abilities by making late night runs to the grocery store for pickles dipped in chocolate and ice cream.
Here's where it might be important to note the new page we turned in our family this year. Sometime in January, we decided this would be the year that we would pull together as Team Nielson and give up something for Lent. Somehow, something became some things and we decided to forgo both sugar (for the adults) and all beverages besides water and milk (for the whole family). (On an unrelated note, that's kinda a cool story that doesn't belong here. If you wanna hear about it, ask me and I'd love to tell you about it.) Anyway, at the time we made this decision, I was not pregnant. Had I been, that might have been a (major) factor. So...I pretty much endured the first trimester without any kind of sweets or coffee. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Tim's still waiting to ride the proverbial white horse disguised as a Honda Odyssey for a midnight pickles and ice cream pick-up.
Tiredness? Check. To the extreme. As in, I'm living for my next opportunity to sleep. My poor family. This growing a life inside of me stuff is making me next to worthless for them. It's amazing my 3 little people have survived the first trimester in tact without any major catastrophes for how I've been rendered ineffective on the couch. Ice cream for breakfast, anyone? (Except we're not eating sugar- for breakfast or any other time.)
In fact, Tim took an almost 5 day trip this week. I'm not sure how we survived. I have no idea what the kids ate for the duration of that week. Thankfully it was the perfect time for me to capitalize on some pre-made, healthy meals I had mistakenly purchased on Groupon. My meals were delivered to my door, and simply needed to be warmed up. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And they were all good. And healthier than what I would have prepared at that point in time. Somehow, we all survived. I had this monsterous list of catching up on life tasks that I had wanted to accomplish while Tim was away. Instead, I napped harder than the kids during nap time. I figured there was always after bedtime to be productive. Except that by the time the kids were in bed, I managed to muster up enough energy to crawl in bed and find Grey's Anatomy Season 1 reruns on Hulu. (And sadly enough, that's no exaggeration for literary sake.)
Holy smokes: there's 31 more weeks to go! How am I...and my kids...and my husband going to make it? I think it was at this point that I started thinking maybe four was a good number after all and maybe this would be the last time.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Week 8: Heartbeat (Last week of March)
My first OB appointment was scheduled for Wednesday morning this week. Considering past experience (showing up for an appointment alone, expecting heartbeats and congratulations and instead getting news of a miscarriage), I made sure to give Tim the option of being along for this appointment. After having been through it once, I was confident I would survive if there was bad news, but I thought I'd let Tim make the decision himself. So he arranged for our neighbor to come over and stay with the kids so that he could be with me.
Within seconds of coming through the door, I had totally caught the nurse off guard and unintentionally changed the mood in the exam room. The standard first question for all pre-natal OB visits is: "How are you feeling?" When I answered, "Nervous," Nurse Linda was a little more than confused. Although I always attempt honesty, I didn't mean to throw her off. So then I tried to explain that I was just a little anxious to see a strong, healthy heartbeat. She still seemed to think I was a little odd, I think, but she wasted no time in finding that heartbeat for us! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
I can't tell you how immensely better and relieved I felt! I tear up every time. Still. The miraculousness of not only a heartbeat, strong and definite inside at 8 weeks after conception is amazing enough. The technology to be able to see the heartbeat within a life the size of a pinto bean is something to behold as well. WOW!
Anyway, time to move forward. Enough holding my breath and hoping and praying that God would allow this to happen for real. I knew we weren't exactly "out of the clear" yet, but I was enough relieved that I could finally start to show some excitement. And to start thinking about sharing our news.
The next day, I boarded a plane and jetted off to visit my brother in Corpus Christi, TX. He was officially the first family member we told. It didn't take long after my arrival for the news to break. He was showing me around San Antonio, telling me about some of the places he had been to, about what each had to offer, including some unbelievable chocolate martinis at one stop. Had to break it to him that I would not be enjoying any of those martinis on this trip.
His response: "Well, you guys are just a bunch of baby making machines!" Love it. Family always says what other people think, but don't have the guts to say!
Talking to my brother about having a fourth kid was the first time I really verbalized some of the things I was beginning to realize. Although we are both so excited, I was also beginning to feel like we were entering a whole new category of family life. Obviously, but let me explain. 3 kids is a fairly typical American family. 4 moves us into the "larger family" category. We are no longer "normal." (You may refrain from commenting that maybe we never were normal to start with.) We are about to be judged for all kinds of things. I was flashing forward to the end of summer, before school starts, and trips to the grocery store with my 3 favorite little people and a large belly and hearing random strangers say things like: "You know what prevents this, right?"
Tim and I had always wanted a larger family; it was never a discussion or debate for us. But for whatever reason, I had never really thought about any judgement we might receive for that decision. Until now. But what can I say? Too late! I hadn't wasted much time thinking about it in the past, but for this moment, it has given me what I have begun to call a "healthy fear" of the possible insanity that 4 kids 6 and under might bring to our household!
Within seconds of coming through the door, I had totally caught the nurse off guard and unintentionally changed the mood in the exam room. The standard first question for all pre-natal OB visits is: "How are you feeling?" When I answered, "Nervous," Nurse Linda was a little more than confused. Although I always attempt honesty, I didn't mean to throw her off. So then I tried to explain that I was just a little anxious to see a strong, healthy heartbeat. She still seemed to think I was a little odd, I think, but she wasted no time in finding that heartbeat for us! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
I can't tell you how immensely better and relieved I felt! I tear up every time. Still. The miraculousness of not only a heartbeat, strong and definite inside at 8 weeks after conception is amazing enough. The technology to be able to see the heartbeat within a life the size of a pinto bean is something to behold as well. WOW!
Anyway, time to move forward. Enough holding my breath and hoping and praying that God would allow this to happen for real. I knew we weren't exactly "out of the clear" yet, but I was enough relieved that I could finally start to show some excitement. And to start thinking about sharing our news.
The next day, I boarded a plane and jetted off to visit my brother in Corpus Christi, TX. He was officially the first family member we told. It didn't take long after my arrival for the news to break. He was showing me around San Antonio, telling me about some of the places he had been to, about what each had to offer, including some unbelievable chocolate martinis at one stop. Had to break it to him that I would not be enjoying any of those martinis on this trip.
His response: "Well, you guys are just a bunch of baby making machines!" Love it. Family always says what other people think, but don't have the guts to say!
Talking to my brother about having a fourth kid was the first time I really verbalized some of the things I was beginning to realize. Although we are both so excited, I was also beginning to feel like we were entering a whole new category of family life. Obviously, but let me explain. 3 kids is a fairly typical American family. 4 moves us into the "larger family" category. We are no longer "normal." (You may refrain from commenting that maybe we never were normal to start with.) We are about to be judged for all kinds of things. I was flashing forward to the end of summer, before school starts, and trips to the grocery store with my 3 favorite little people and a large belly and hearing random strangers say things like: "You know what prevents this, right?"
Tim and I had always wanted a larger family; it was never a discussion or debate for us. But for whatever reason, I had never really thought about any judgement we might receive for that decision. Until now. But what can I say? Too late! I hadn't wasted much time thinking about it in the past, but for this moment, it has given me what I have begun to call a "healthy fear" of the possible insanity that 4 kids 6 and under might bring to our household!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Week 7: Running a 10K
Sometime in February, I started talking with a friend and former running partner of mine about running a 10K race in the middle of March. It was a pretty low profile event, really near my house on a trail I used to run with this same running partner, and it's always fun to do races on your home turf. If that wasn't good enough, it was only a $10 entry fee, which can't be beat, and there was no early registration. (So, considering it was in mid-March, if we woke up that morning and it happened to be snowing and we decided not to run, we wouldn't be out any money.) Perfect; I was definitely looking forward to it. I had run some last summer, but since I was still nursing Sweetest P, I laid pretty low as running too much always affects the ever precious supply. I was more than ready to get back in the game.
When we started talking about it, I knew there was a possibility that I could be pregnant by race day, but I figured it would be early enough that I could still manage the race. What I didn't anticipate was that not only would I be pregnant at that time, but that between Tim's schedule and my schedule, my opportunities to get out and stretch my legs seemed to be all too few and far between. (One of the hardest adjustments to having 3 small people in the house is that they no longer all fit in the stroller to go on runs with me.) So let's just say I was more than a little unprepared for this race. And by the way, I should probably just call it a run, because let's be real; I wasn't really "racing" anyone.
Anyway, I felt like I had committed to my friend, and I didn't want to bail out on a commitment, so I showed up for the race. But I knew I had no choice but to be forthright. So I told my friend that I probably wasn't going to make it the whole way, and that since the trail looped around, I might "cheat" and cut off a portion of the loop and meet up with her again before the finish. But then I felt like I had to explain why I was unprepared. So she ended up being the 3rd person I told about the newest addition to our family.
In the end, I probably ran about 5 miles of the 6.2, and walked maybe another 1/2 mile. And as always, once I crossed the finish line, I felt like I should have run more and pushed myself harder. And the run itself felt good.
But let me tell you that afterwards I paid for it. Maybe I could call this one of my first major pregnancy symptoms. I wasn't even to my car in the parking lot before I realized there was more than a $10 price tag for this run. My back hurt so bad that I could hardly move. By the time I got home, I was afraid to pick up any of the kids and found myself a few times that day asking Tim to lift them for me. Chiropractor bills started floating through my imagination and I later that day, I found myself searching on line for how on earth I could manage chiropractic care throughout the pregnancy with insurance that doesn't cover a lick of it.
Thankfully, after a nice (long) nap on the couch and a hot bath, I began to feel a little bit better. But I definitely began questioning how to continue exercising throughout this pregnancy AND wondering if this was going to be a foreshadowing of the next 8 months! YIKES!
On an unrelated note, I was caught somewhat off-guard by one of my friends questions in response to my big news. After telling her I was pregnant, she said, "Was this the timing you were hoping for?" For some reason, that surprised me. Even though we had only told a few people at this point, it was the first surprised reaction I had gotten, and I guess it surprised me only because it came from someone who knew me. I would expect that from people who don't know us well, but I didn't expect my friends to be all that surprised. Plus, the question makes me laugh, in general anyway. It's really just a more polite, PC way of asking, "Was this planned?"
I am glad to say YES! And I'd even go so far as to say Divinely Planned!
When we started talking about it, I knew there was a possibility that I could be pregnant by race day, but I figured it would be early enough that I could still manage the race. What I didn't anticipate was that not only would I be pregnant at that time, but that between Tim's schedule and my schedule, my opportunities to get out and stretch my legs seemed to be all too few and far between. (One of the hardest adjustments to having 3 small people in the house is that they no longer all fit in the stroller to go on runs with me.) So let's just say I was more than a little unprepared for this race. And by the way, I should probably just call it a run, because let's be real; I wasn't really "racing" anyone.
Anyway, I felt like I had committed to my friend, and I didn't want to bail out on a commitment, so I showed up for the race. But I knew I had no choice but to be forthright. So I told my friend that I probably wasn't going to make it the whole way, and that since the trail looped around, I might "cheat" and cut off a portion of the loop and meet up with her again before the finish. But then I felt like I had to explain why I was unprepared. So she ended up being the 3rd person I told about the newest addition to our family.
In the end, I probably ran about 5 miles of the 6.2, and walked maybe another 1/2 mile. And as always, once I crossed the finish line, I felt like I should have run more and pushed myself harder. And the run itself felt good.
But let me tell you that afterwards I paid for it. Maybe I could call this one of my first major pregnancy symptoms. I wasn't even to my car in the parking lot before I realized there was more than a $10 price tag for this run. My back hurt so bad that I could hardly move. By the time I got home, I was afraid to pick up any of the kids and found myself a few times that day asking Tim to lift them for me. Chiropractor bills started floating through my imagination and I later that day, I found myself searching on line for how on earth I could manage chiropractic care throughout the pregnancy with insurance that doesn't cover a lick of it.
Thankfully, after a nice (long) nap on the couch and a hot bath, I began to feel a little bit better. But I definitely began questioning how to continue exercising throughout this pregnancy AND wondering if this was going to be a foreshadowing of the next 8 months! YIKES!
On an unrelated note, I was caught somewhat off-guard by one of my friends questions in response to my big news. After telling her I was pregnant, she said, "Was this the timing you were hoping for?" For some reason, that surprised me. Even though we had only told a few people at this point, it was the first surprised reaction I had gotten, and I guess it surprised me only because it came from someone who knew me. I would expect that from people who don't know us well, but I didn't expect my friends to be all that surprised. Plus, the question makes me laugh, in general anyway. It's really just a more polite, PC way of asking, "Was this planned?"
I am glad to say YES! And I'd even go so far as to say Divinely Planned!
Week 6: SURE!!?!
It's slowly beginning to sink in that there really is no such thing as a false positive pregnancy test. It's really true. Ever so slowly, my mind is beginning to imagine what it might be like to have a baby at the beginning of November.
A miscarriage between Noah and Phoebe has made me ever so much more hesitant to get my hopes up, though. With both pregnancies afterwards, I have braced myself for the reality that it could happen again.
So I began this week by scheduling my first OB appointment, ever so eager to see a heartbeat that would begin to put my mind at rest. Got it on the calendar for March 30th, and even the simple act of scheduling it has made me so much more relieved.
With our miscarriage, I didn't know anything was wrong until I went in for my first regular appointment at 10 weeks, and expected everything to be normal. In fact, I was so unprepared for unexpected news that Tim wasn't even with me for that appointment. So, I have it on the calendar between 7-8 weeks, and that's a relief to me. This time, I am prepared that the appointment might not go as planned, and if that's the case, I'll know way ahead of the 10 week mark, which also, somehow makes me feel better. In any case, even though it sounds silly even to me, I am feeling more reassured just to know that in a short matter of time, I'll either see a heartbeat or not.
Until then, I'm beginning to dream of a baby in November, but holding very loosely to the idea. I've learned the hard way that you never know what can happen.
A miscarriage between Noah and Phoebe has made me ever so much more hesitant to get my hopes up, though. With both pregnancies afterwards, I have braced myself for the reality that it could happen again.
So I began this week by scheduling my first OB appointment, ever so eager to see a heartbeat that would begin to put my mind at rest. Got it on the calendar for March 30th, and even the simple act of scheduling it has made me so much more relieved.
With our miscarriage, I didn't know anything was wrong until I went in for my first regular appointment at 10 weeks, and expected everything to be normal. In fact, I was so unprepared for unexpected news that Tim wasn't even with me for that appointment. So, I have it on the calendar between 7-8 weeks, and that's a relief to me. This time, I am prepared that the appointment might not go as planned, and if that's the case, I'll know way ahead of the 10 week mark, which also, somehow makes me feel better. In any case, even though it sounds silly even to me, I am feeling more reassured just to know that in a short matter of time, I'll either see a heartbeat or not.
Until then, I'm beginning to dream of a baby in November, but holding very loosely to the idea. I've learned the hard way that you never know what can happen.
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