Week 11: Spreading the News

This particular post is what prompted me to blog about this pregnancy.  There were so many things I wanted to remember from this week that I decided I needed to record it all.  And yet, when it actually comes time to write, I am having a hard time being very literary about it all.

This was the week that we finally started sharing our news and making it fully public.  (Keep in mind this somehow became a very long process for us that lasted for about the next four weeks, but this was the beginning.)

Here we were, nearing the end of the notorious 1st trimester, and we still hadn't told most of our families our news.  In the past, we had always found a way to tell our families in person, but we knew that wasn't going to be possible this time.  And, because our two oldest kids are so much older this time around, we thought it would be fun to have THEM share the news.

The Saturday before Easter, we were all busy with Easter egg mess ruling our kitchen.  With eggs, utensils, and fingers all plunged deep into the potent dye, my mother in law called.  Hubs extracted himself to answer the phone, and we decided this was as good a time as any to tell his mom our news.  So, amidst the cups o' color, newspaper, and commotion, he switched to speaker phone and asked S & N if they had anything to tell Grandma.  My Sweetheart proudly exclaimed, "My mom's PREGNANT!"  (It still feels weird to me to hear my five year old use the word pregnant.)  Hubs looked at me in awe; he didn't know she knew that word.  However, the person we were really looking for a reaction from- didn't have one!  So my little man says, "There's a baby in my mommy's tummy!"  Still no reaction from Grandma.  He repeated himself two more times!  Still nothing.  Hubs was laughing- but giving the poor kids and Grandma no help.  With a little prodding, he pulled himself together to realize this wasn't going as planned, switched off speaker phone, and translated for his mom, who probably was having the hardest time hearing the kids, much less understanding what they were saying!!  And we finally got a reaction from her- lots of excitement and congratulations.

Later that same day, I had scheduled to skype with my family.  Although we weren't able to be there in person to tell our families this time, we figured this was the next best thing.  Little did I know that my whole family would be present for this skype session.  Which obviously worked in our favor.  Within minutes of getting everyone together, Sweetheart and Little Man were again able to share the big news.  This went much better, as they didn't have to repeat themselves multiple times this time.  Once was enough.  I am not sure that anyone in my family was surprised- in fact, I think there might have been a comment that my sister in law had predicted that this announcement was coming.  But they were excited none-the-less.

In the next couple of days, Hubs managed to get a hold of each of his three sisters and share the news with them as well.

And that was the easy part.  After that, it got much more weird, and it wasn't long before I realized that to a certain extent, I needed to mentally prepare myself before I shared our news with people.  And to be honest, I was also realizing that in some ways, I was thankful for a thick skin.

Because not everyone was as excited for us as our friends and family had been up to this point.  There were only a very small handful of people that actually showed excitement and said congratulations after this.  In fact, I got all kinds of crazy responses.  I am not sure what it is about pregnancy that makes people feel like they are at liberty to say things that they would never say to a person who wasn't pregnant (case in point, at about 32 weeks along in my first pregnancy, a grocery store clerk who commented that I was probably going to take the dessert that I was purchasing home to eat the entire thing myself!).  But man, when you're pregnant, it just seems as if people's tongues are loosed and all kinds of things come out.

Some of my favorites:
"WOW!...Holy cow you guys!"
"Was this planned?"
"Well you'll certainly have your hands full."
"Do you still get excited?"
"You guys need a hobby...a new hobby, anyway."
"Wow, 4 Kids!!!"
"How many are you going to have, anyway?"

And the top prize winner was actually not said to me, but to my mom, for crying out loud:
"Is there any limit?"

Seriously, who says that?

Anyway, in overanalyzing these varied reactions, I realized that I was so glad that I hadn't thought anything about them before we found ourselves in this situation.  Not to say that I think that would have changed anything, but I think it was much easier for me to be polite and gracious in response when I hadn't thought it through too much before hand.  We may not be the best parents in the world, and we may not have the most money in the world, and we may not get it right every single time, but who's place is it to judge us for the size of our family?

We are thankful for every life that God has added to our numbers, and again, I will stand my ground in my belief that this is divinely planned.

Week 10: Sophia and Noah learn the secret

For fairly obvious reasons, we held off telling Sophia and Noah the big news.  We didn't want to them to spill the beans for us, when we weren't quite ready to share the secret yet.   I was sure that Sophia would be so excited that she would waste no time telling everyone she knew.  And didn't know.  To anyone who would listen, really.

After Tim got back from his trip last week, he decided he was finally ready to let the other kids in on the secret.   But a couple days went by, and we still hadn't said anything to them.  Then on Saturday morning, Tim woke up deciding that today would be the day, I guess.  I had been excited to tell the kids for some time, so I think if we would have thought it through together a little better, I would have thought of a creative way to tell the kids and made a whole event out of it.  But that's the difference between mom's and dad's.  Tim started to tell the kids before I was even totally realizing what was happening, I think.  As we're getting breakfast together, all of a sudden, Noah has somehow magically appeared at my side and lifts my shirt up to look at my tummy.  I hear Tim saying, "What's in there?"

Noah very sheepishly answered, "A baby!"  I am pretty sure Sophia giggled.

We didn't talk about it a whole lot more that day, except that I told them that the baby would come sometime after Halloween, but before Thanksgiving.  (So great to have milestones to mark it by to help them gauge time better.)  I think it took several days before it began to sink in for them.  It must be especially hard when there is nothing for them to see yet.

Once Sophia and Noah knew, we ever so slowly started letting the cat begin to make it's way out of the bag.  But we were still fairly selective in who we told, and it was still just a handful of people we came in contact with most frequently.

Our best announcement was to our nearest and dearest friends here in Colorado.  We would be seeing them at the end of the week for a monthly dinner date, so that day, I dressed Sweetest P in the same "Big Sister" Tshirt we bought for Sophs when we found out baby #2 was coming.  Things were a little chaotic as we got to our friends house, so it took Erika a couple of minutes before she caught the message in the shirt.  But it was well worth the wait, and our most fun announcement.  It was also the most excitement and enthusiasm shared with us when telling of the arrival of our 4th.